


An Angel Visits Mary

by hernameisgeorge



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Blasphemy, Crack, Gen, because i've butchered it, don't read this if you're particularly attached to the bible, especially the story where gabriel visits mary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 02:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hernameisgeorge/pseuds/hernameisgeorge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Virgin Mary is visited by an angel. It’s not what she expects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Angel Visits Mary

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this. "What'd you do this Christmas?" Oh, you know, just disparaged some Bible scriptures. No big deal.
> 
> Merry Christmas. Did you get everything you wanted? Oh? That's what you got? I see. I suppose that's all right. I got slippers. Well, I got other stuff too, but the main thing was slippers. They're really comfy.
> 
> Enjoy the story.

_"And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth."_

-Luke 1:26

On a hot June day in the city of Nazareth, the angel Gabriel visited a young girl named Mary who was promised to a carpenter named Joseph.

"Rejoice, for you are blessed, and all that nonsense," Gabriel said from where he was perched on the windowsill.

Mary screamed and smacked him with a broom.

He flailed and fell down. “Oh my Dad, what are you doing?”

"Get out of my house!"

Gabriel flew to the other side of the room. “Calm down, you crazy bitch! I’m an angel!” He gestured to the floor-length dress he was wearing. “You think I’m wearing this for my health?”

Mary fell to her knees and bowed her head. “Forgive me.”

"Yeah, you’d better be sorry, that really hurt." He rubbed his shoulder. "Anyway, I’m here on important heavenly business. God has a mission for you."

"Me?" Mary shook her head. "You must have the wrong house. What would God possibly want from me?"

"Congratulations, it’s a boy!" Gabriel threw a handful of confetti. "Name him Jesus. It’ll be great. He’s going to be a king, and his reign with never end. People will love him."

"But I’ve never-"

"Ever heard of immaculate conception?" Mary shook her head again. "Oh. Well that’s what that is. You’re going to give birth to the son of God."

"You’re crazy."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Don’t believe me? I’ll give you proof. Your cousin Elizabeth is infertile, right?” He snapped his fingers. “Boom, she’s pregnant too. Go on, go visit her if you’re still unconvinced.”

Mary was going to do just that. “I really hope you’re telling the truth.”

When she looked back, Gabriel was already gone.

* * *

"And that’s how it happened," Gabriel said around a lollipop.

Dean scoffed. “You’re full of shit.”

"Were you there?" said Gabriel.

"I was, and I can confirm that that is exactly how it happened," Castiel said.

"But wasn’t Jesus born on Christmas?"

"Actually, Dean," Sam said, "Jesus was born closer to Easter."

"Listen to the Samsquatch, Dean-o," Gabriel said. "And eat some candy."

"Merry fucking Christmas."

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, I'm sorry.


End file.
